sometimes its quiet, or its loud laughter. at times its an argument and then other times its actual screams. sometimes its just hushed whispers or average toned conversations. theres the sound of sighs, of hmphs, of low mumblings. its the sound of typing even as i sit here at my computer, but its all noise. all this talking, it keeps a person from thinking, from feeling the loneliness of the silence. sitting in the quiet allows too much time for real thoughts to take hold in our hearts... however, the noise, the constant noise, keeps up from something God longs for us to take part in... a quiet, unshakable relationship with Him.

out of everything in my life that comes close to hate, its the quiet. i dislike ackward silence and there are few people in my life who i can sit peacefully with being just silent. i, in my humble life of nineteen years, have realized a few important facts, and one of them is that when i realize i can be quiet with someone and not feel out of place, i have also realized a deep friendship.

my whole life i've had to be loud to be noticed. i've never had someone start conversations with me or go out of their way to be with me if i wasn't "talking." hmmm... interesting revelation? i've never been sought out if someone hasn't seen me, or given a call because i've been missed. i'm not complaining, just stating some basic facts that lead to why i feel the way i do about quiet.

in reality, the quiet frightens me. or so i believe. it means i'm being still, and i like adventure and being on the go far too much to stay still for long. my belief is, at least if i'm on a hike, enjoying nature and God's creation, the noise of some stream or creek will break the silence.

maybe, we need to be quiet. or should i refrase that because i'm really speaking of myself when i say that, maybe... I need to be quiet. really quiet. let the silence become unbarable and open myself up to whatever God has to say.
i mean... really, God wasn't in the storm and the trashing wind was He?
He was in the quiet...

i love many things... here are some of them...
bell ringing for the salvation army. going jogging in the crazy wind that was tonight! my church family here at home. dancing. and loving every single one of my friends.
but really... its singing and using my voice to praise God.

i never realized just how much i missed singing until i came back to it after far too many months away. ah, the key of c is my friend haha!
so a good practice under my belt and i'm ready to sing Christmas Eve! :)

i realized how badly i need to find a good friend at school to jam with after today!


life throws curve balls! :)

its time!
for more information about exactly what i mean... go here.

many prayers and blessings go out.
lets lift our hands...


In Him, Through Him, With Him,
Meredith

i am reminded how glorious God is.

keep praying. Passion World Tour begins soon and i find myself on my knees more and more.
the prayer points for May really reflect the need for prayer.
He never, ever lets go, even when i feel myself ignoring that fact.
sometimes... sometimes i need to take that trip back to the mountain and remember that relationship with Him can last. i don't want to be lukewarm...

In Him, With Him, Through Him,
Meredith

sorry for the absence that i was not prepared for. after about four days of the flu i am back up and running... or least, for the most part. i'm a little worn out and a little tied, but all in all in better health.
there isn't a great deal to say. really... i'm just keep holding on right now.
this weekend went by in such a blur, however, i feel strangely refreshed through all of this. it may be the constant knowledge that a great Passion::Regional occurred in Atlanta this weekend and i am once again reminded that i am not alone. it could be the restaurant review for the newspaper i have scheduled for lunch today. potentially it is being back in school after a few days out sick (doubtful, however... a chance. haha!). Or, it could even be seeing the Needhman's in concert yesterday at my church's Rally Day.
I will not lie, i was not expecting much due to Rally Days in the past... however, i feel that God truly meant to teach me a lesson (and to restore my hope in Rally Day haha)... they were excellent! I don't mean... "oh they were okay i clapped my hands some and the music wasn't bad"... i mean, i thoroughly enjoyed them, and their voices amazed me (enough that i bought 2 cds... and i am kinda cheap so that says a lot haha)... and as a musician, i have to say... definitely one of the better talents i've heard in a while. true artistry. amazing group, really on fire for God. loved it! Definitely two thumbs way up!

I'll update more when I have more time and strength. God's grace is good.


In Him, With Him, Through Him,
Mere

its crazy sometimes how great the God we serve is. amazing.
check out Passion's Blog at www.268blog.com
its amazing the things at work. lets keep praying.

oh the beauty of spontaneity...

from pizza at Target, to last minute plans for bible study on Monday night. from a phone call to ask about prom, to the softball game in the afternoon. to working an extra day to someone random coming in and making my day.
this week and the last couple in the past have been completely planned and yet completely open to new things.
it briefly reminds me of the new opportunities I've had with God lately and it excites me. although they have not been cookie cutter perfect, they have been wonderful. the chances before be abound and i am thrilled to have the chance to make the most of each of them.

songs to listen to::: Jeremy Camp "This Man", and Matthew West "Grace"

In Him,
Mere

its been a long week... however, the week is slowly coming to a close. the best part is what awaits me at the end of this week. not only a great weekend but also a day of learning and growing tomorrow as i travel to Messiah College for "perspective student day." i am more excited than i thought possible when i first put my deposit in. with family health issues, and people that need me at home, i realize that God desired me to be less than an hour way so i can be here where people need me. there is a plethora of worship opportunities for me as Messiah and i am excited for the challenge and the calling.
after a wonderful day at Messiah I will work for a total of three hours and eight minutes, at which point i will smile as i walk out to parking lot filled with my youth group to travel forty-five minutes to Hershey to see Leeland and Casting Crowns. Now for some, they may not quite understand my exuberance at this fact, but i am thoroughly excited. Since Passion in February (has it really been that long?!?) i have been anxious for a night of worship with a crowd bigger than the usual fourteen that come to youth group each Sunday (don't get me wrong, i love everyone that comes to yg and some of my greatest friends attend me with and i love each moment of my Sunday nights... i digress). So needless to say... it will be a welcomed vacation from the norm.
this weekend is going to be a full, very busy, not so restful one, but a fantastic one. i look forward to it. i long for it. and after today, i will be able to enjoy it to the fullest.
Praise God, He makes all things good!


In Him,
Meredith

its been some time since this all began...

its strange the way some things come full circle and how others end not far from where it began. there was a time, not long ago, when i was disappointed and frustrated about the situation... now, after a weekend of ups and downs and attempting to figure out what i really want from this situation, i am okay. perspective, or should i say, the correct perspective has been thrust upon me in the wake of Easter morning and the entire outlook that the cross brings to my life.


"Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?"
The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law.
But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you.
Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord,
because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."
1 Corinthians 15:55-58

and with Easter a day past, my prayer is that we remember the cross and the Savior who did not deserve to die in our place.

In Him,
Mere

i'm not angry, i'm hurt.
and so i walk away.